This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
