Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
