I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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