So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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