Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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