New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
