Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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