a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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