He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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