sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
