Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
