the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
