did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
