Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
