ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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