An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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