Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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(607): View more from New York

he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter

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(716): View more from New York

I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina

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(555): View more from

She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.

(555): View more from

Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

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(408): View more from California

Your text makes more sense read in reverse.

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(914): View more from New York

At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.

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