this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
