I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
