So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
