You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
