I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
