She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
