well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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