I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
