dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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