I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
