How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
