Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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