I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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