All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
