why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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