Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
