I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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