i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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