What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
