My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize