matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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