dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
