So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
