Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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