There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
