i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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