It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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