she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
