I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
3 2 1 whiskey
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
