so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
