THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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