friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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