I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Your penis caused this!
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