This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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