Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize