So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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