Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
