She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
