omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
