Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
