Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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