i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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