The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
