Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
