Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
