Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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